There is this blind man that I see walking with his stick almost everyday along Greenswitch road right before you cross 48. I still remember the first time I saw him I almost had a heart attack because I thought that he didn't know how close he was to the extremely busy road but as the car in front of me slowed down to talk with him, I realized that he enjoys being independent and walking on his own. It has become the norm to see him almost daily and I honestly don't think much of it as I drive past him. About a week ago, I saw him crouched over in the tall grass on the corner and I thought that something was wrong with him and just as I slowed down to roll down my window and ask if everything was alright, he stood up and placed a piece of garbage into an empty Walmart sack and then I noticed that he had two sacks on his other arm that were already full. I thought wow that is an example of how we could all do a little more.
I am a "fixer" and when I see something wrong I want to "fix" it. The dilemma is that I can't "fix" everything that I want to. This applies to all aspects of my life; work, relationships, and home. Something weighing heavily on my heart this evening is the visit with my grandma today in the nursing home. Chad and I took the girls this afternoon to see her and she just had a sad look on her face and was very confused and frustrated. I wanted to "fix" it so my hope was that as we visited with grandma she would become less sad and confused and that we could brighten her day. Instead, I left there feeling bad that I couldn't do more for her and that I didn't "fix" anything except for some toiletries in her bathroom that she wanted organized. I want to do more.
I lost one of my friends in March to Colon cancer and have been trying to set up lots of playdates with her daughter Kylie and Addison, I have been working crazy overtime the past couple of weeks and with everything going on with grandma, I have neglected that and I want to do more.
There are so many things at work that I want to change and do but there just aren't enough hours in the day and enough people who care to make the change. I have done more and I want to do even more.
I look around the house and no matter how much is done, there is always more.
At the end of the day when you feel physically and emotionally drained,
I guess you just look ahead to what more you can possibly do tomorrow. There is always more.
2 comments:
Erin I know how you feel wanting to fix everything, me to but I can't and it breaks my heart. I want to put everything out of my mind and to have things back under control. Not happening latley, even when i try to do a normal task.
Erin, you have such a big heart- this is just one of the reasons we all love you so very much. Give your girls and your hubby a great big hug today and try to focus on all of the wonderful things in your life, even if just for a moment. Love you.
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