I was so worried about how my sensitive little Addi would handle Poppy's passing. When we told her about it she said that she felt like she couldn't hold back her tears and we let her cry and told her that she would feel this way a lot of times and it was OK to cry and then it passed after a couple of minutes. I then had to tell her that her birthday party was going to be rescheduled which she handled so well that I don't even know what to think about that. The next day I had a deeper conversation with her to make sure she understood that we won't see him again. She said that she needed to go to the graveyard and see him and I explained to her that we are going to have a party for him first and then he will be buried at a cemetery and we can go visit anytime we want to. She asked me why we would throw a party for him and I explained that he loved us so much that he doesn't like to see us sad so he would want us to remember his love for us and all the fun times. We have had all the conversations about how he isn't sick anymore and how he can play with Boggs in Heaven and eat ice cream for dinner and have no chores and do whatever he wants forever. She drew him a picture yesterday and this morning I told her that when we go to church or to Poppy's party some people might say to us sorry for your loss and that a polite response to that is Thank you. She then melted my heart and said "I know mom, if someone says that to me I will say I understand what happened and thank you and I really miss him. Then she wanted to watch her lion movie and she said Mom this first part just stinks because the daddy lion goes to heaven and there is nothing we can do about it kinda like what we feel. I know that it is far from over but I feel that she has a grasp on this.
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| I love you Poppy! I am sad that you went to Heaven. I love you Boggs! I miss you both! |
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| And Emmy well- she just likes stickers but man oh man was she a Poppy's girl. |
1 comment:
Erin,
I think you're right. Addi does have an understanding of what has happened. Her reactions and attitude are largely going to mimic yours and Chad's. You both are so strong and Addi sees that. She is a wise little girl.
My suggestion would be to talk about Poppy a lot. Keep pictures around and in the open. Tell lots of stories of "do you remember when Poppy let you drive his boat" and "do you remember when Poppy...". Too many times people avoid talking about the deceased for fear they will bring up pain or sadness. The true pain and sadness comes from thinking that our loved ones are forgotten.
The next few days are going to be rough, but know that you have a ton of people supporting you.
Love
Dad
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