Decisions and Questions

These days I hate them both. Just a few questions running through my head on yet another crazy day... Do I listen to a doctor that I have no confidence in anymore? Do I switch Paige to soy formula for a lactose intolerance which happened to appear the same week all the kids in her class have a stomach bug? Do I listen to the lactation consultant at the hospital? Can I find a good new pediatrician in town? Is breastfeeding best? How far in advance do I tell Addi that she has to have 8 teeth pulled? Should I have already told her? Is laughing gas enough? Do I wish she was completely sedated? Will her Marfans cause any extra concerns during this procedure? Will her anxiety act up making her vomit? Will she be able to eat at all? Will I cause her to have fear of the dentist by trying to carry the worry for her by not telling her a month ago when I found this out? Is Emmy's ear better yet? We are on round two of antibiotic which upsets her stomach, is that good for her? Did I buy enough yogurt at the store for her? Does she feel bad that she is going to school while Addi has a dentist appointment and Paige is home sick? Am I getting sick or is the stress getting to me? Is staff covered at work today while I am off? What will happen while I am gone? What time will I get there? Am I setting a good example by missing two days this week? Do my staff feel supported when I am gone? Is my boss frustrated that I am gone again for yet another appointment? When can I be gone for fun or something not stressful? Did I pay the bills on the counter? Is there a late fee on the library books or videos? Will I be able to do time sheets and the other piles of projects lying on my desk without being interrupted 80 times when I get into work this evening? Do we have coverage for next week? Is my mom getting frustrated by how much I need her lately? When does she get to be fun Grandma and not my back up plan for almost every disaster? Have I called her too many times lately to pick the girls up or help out in a bind?  What have I done nice for her lately? How is my grandmother doing? Did she find her bottom teeth? Is my mom stressed that I call her crying and she is constantly worried about her own mother? How does she do it all? Are the girls behaving for Chad? Is Paige crying? What time did she eat? Will I need to pump before I leave the office? Did I switch the laundry before I left the house? Did I set something out for dinner? How many hours do I work to get caught up without feeling guilty for being at work when my family needs me? Should I bring Paige to the office and nurse her while I work? Is Emmy listening? When am I going to find time to clean the house and spend quality time with my family this weekend? Should I be home with my family and try my best to do that really well? Should I stay home like Chad has suggested? Would he get a second job? Will I ever see him? Would that lessen or increase my stress? Have I spread myself to thin? Am I even nice anymore? Are we there enough for Chad's mom? Does she know just how much she is loved and not alone? Does she feel obligated to say yes when we need her? Can I just call someone without needing some sort of favor? Is everyone this stressed all the time? Is there a stop or a mute button on my brain?